11. BED TIME PRAYER

1. I did not do this. I did not spend any time to think about this mistake and its correction. I will spend much more time in Bed Time Prayer.
Prayer ensures that we have a stable connection with the Master. It enables us to develop humility. That is the first sign of development of devotion. Please NEVER forget to offer prayer before going to bed.

2. I feel my bedtime prayer is not effective, as I am not getting that helpless attitude. Is it because my surrender is not complete?
'Pray that you pray and continue to pray so that prayer may continue' is my reply. It is good to feel helplessness- do not try to find why you are helpless- you will lose the game.

3. I am getting a feeling in my bedtime prayer that I am volunteering for Master's service. I think I am saying "Master, Please use this servant in anyway useful"
The bedtime prayer should lead us to a state of submissiveness to the Master. It may not be proper to offer any prayer seeking Him to utilize our services separately. Humility when perfected leads to a state of Silence. And if this silent submissiveness is maintained after the prayer this naturally continues through the night and the time spent in sleep also becomes useful in our sadhana.

4. Most of the times I was doing my Bedtime prayer or say the 10th commandment right after 9pm prayer and was going to bed after 10/15mins or some times may be after 30/45mins because of Kids or some times due to phone calls.etc.
Regarding the night prayer before going to bed it is the spirit of the commandment rather than the period of time spent on the prayer that is the criteria for evaluation. From that point you will find yourself better evaluated. While attending to the needs of children or others at home and elsewhere if you develop the attitude that the Master himself is attending to them the state of Prayer becomes easily established.

5. If everything is based on Karma, What should I pray to Master during bedtime? Last time when I was at a gathering, I saw a small child wearing thick lenses, I really felt sorry for that. I thought I can pray to Master for helping the child. But I am confused?
Regarding the prayer the Commandment is clear that we repent for the wrongs done and seek forgiveness from God and we should resolve not to repeat such lapses. You seem to entertain an idea that prayer means asking something from God. If you read our prayer you will understand that we only seek oneness with Him. Articles on Prayer are there in our books and you may read them when time permits. It is true that law of Karma always operates. Master is clear on these matters as you can read from the Commentary on Ten Commandments.

6. Sometimes waking up between 2am and 3am as if I have been woken up. In such cases I am trying to get lost in to the prayer on the bed to wait for the morning meditation time.
When we get remembered of Master, we should ensure our physical and mental purity and then pray.

7. My sadhana/abhyas took a little sine curve over the past months. Due to my sloth (loss of viveka) and environmental pull I missed some mornings so the feeling of missing was very heavy on me. But there was this strange connection I felt with the Master even though I slipped in my abhyas some times. Something like a child knows parents always love and he loves them even though he commits mistakes sometimes; there was this unshakable faith in bonding with Him. I sought forgiveness for failing in my duty.
Yes. Environment particularly when it is shared with near and dear ones can cause such lapses. You are right that Masters love is always there but that should not lead us a state of complacency. Every lapse needs to be placed before the Master during night prayer and a strong determination has to be made that such lapses would not be allowed to happen.

8. Can you please explain me this message of the Master?
"It is also sheer folly to pray to the Great Master for worldly gains except in most special cases. Of course it is right to pray to the Master for what which is ordained."
You are reading from the daily message. The text does read differently as ' that which is ordained.' This makes it clear that we can ask for what we are entitled to as a special case. The law of Karma is always operating and we get what we should get. The earlier para refers to our host of gods and goddesses who are all our creations and who are what they are because of the power of thought we provide them. They are over fed and are suffering from consumptive disease due to excessive eating. Agni was supposed to have over eaten and suffered from this disease and wanted the medicinal plants of the Kandava forest to be swallowed through burning the entire forest to get out of this disease and you should be knowing the remaining story in Mahabharat.

9. The distance between current state and where I have to reach (Though I don't think too much about it) appears very insignificant in front of the task of improving myself everyday. In moments of physical and mental stress what comes out is still anger, irritation, quick fault finding and finger pointing at others. Well wishers also pointed out the display of ego and lack of needed level of humility. Trying to work towards it.
This is because we tend not to pray properly during bed time. If our blemishes and faults are recognized and submitted to the Master properly the tendency to ignore the faults of others develops faster. Think for a moment whether we really deserve His Grace to the extent that we do; feeling Him all the way; and working for Him in howsoever small measure! You will then realize that you need to ignore others faults as He has done ours. Trying to be like Master would naturally mean that we should develop His characteristics. Kshama or forgiving nature is the most important quality of God/Master and that alone can be our noble quality.

10. I must admit that I should improve the quality of bed time prayer, as the real (wholehearted begging for) forgiveness is not felt most of the time.
Please note that Repentance is a fierce battle with the heart. Repentance also means that the sinner forsake his sins, cast them out of his mind, and resolve in his heart to sin no more Please also note that Prayer is not asking for what you think you want, but asking to be changed in ways you can't imagine.

11. In the month of September, I am observing restlessness, which is different from what I used to feel earlier. This ends up in prayer, all the time. Only after the prayer, it subsides.
Very few understand the dynamics of repentance. It is a war within ; and it is felt as restlessness either consciously or unconsciously in which case it is like being uneasy. But that is the foundation of real prayer.

12. There is a very good improvement with regard to 10th commandment. But I am not able to consistently get into the real mode of repentance. On an average, I am able to do prayer 2-3 days in a week in a most effective manner but on other days though it is not routine but not as effective as it should be.
Repentance is really killing our ego and no one likes to do it and you are not an exception. That you are able to do it to your satisfaction for half the week is a matter of real success. If you are conscious of the lapses then seeking forgiveness arises. That itself is a big exercise.

13. There is an inner feeling in the heart that I should live in the consciousness of the Master and surrender to His will rather than outward show. May I be granted more and more supplicancy and humility towards Masters?
Humility is not granted but is something that develops the more we see our flaws and feel His forgiving such lapses. Similar is the position of supplicancy. Do not expect those things to be granted which you need to acquire. That is not correct sadhana. Our effort should be there and in the back drop there are always His blessings.

14. During 2nd week of the month I was feeling lot of repentance for accumulating so much grossness and leaving the homeland. Also there was lot of cry with it.
The repentance for having left the homeland is among the last ones. Before that an honest and pious mind feels repentant for many lapses due to its non compliance of the human norms of Truth, Non injury etc., Do not get into intellectualisation and miss the task on hand. There is lot of cleaning to do and many times we find ourselves choked with so many dishes in the dishwasher and how stinking they are!

15. I have to improve a lot in my craving and crying for the Master from my heart in my bedtime prayer. I am able to ask for the forgiveness for the wrongs done by me either knowingly or unknowingly. Also I am able to repent for the same. But still I have to improve lot.
That is but natural. As we advance more and more in spiritual life, even small defects appear like mountains. Purity does not permit impurity of any kind to keep company with it. That is the reason you feel the need to improve. But the essential attitude is to just surrender to Master during prayer.

16. Doing Bed time prayer regularly, but must improve on the quality.
Lapses we have; yet we do not consciously recollect and submit the same to the Master. This is mainly due to our ego. Even when we are prepared to accept the same and submit it to Master, when pointed out by others we will not accept the same. All these steps must be gone through before we arrive at the state of Gairat which is one of the highest conditions in sadhana. So please attend to the Prayers before going to bed with a degree of seriousness it deserves.
The grammer of spirituality demands that we learn this law of Repentance and feeling forgiveness. Do spend more time in prayer if time and stamina is there.

17. During bedtime prayer I am trying to recollect lapses and mistakes done by me and putting in front of the Master.
Please do not try to recollect mistakes or lapses and then resort to repenting for them individually. If the thoughts of earlier lapses were to arise naturally it is alright otherwise it is best to seek forgiveness for all the past mistakes and lapses. Otherwise it will be an exercise finally leading to self pity.

18. I do it for 10 mins. But I feel sometimes agitated when someone behaves in an odd manner or have an indifferent talk. This causes me anger. Sometimes I think to myself whether I am not following the Prayer. Please advice me on this.
Night bed time prayer is meant to submit our difficulties to Master. The greatest quality of God so far as I know is to forgive us. When we want to be godly, naturally we should try to imbibe some of His qualities. Try to forgive others for anything they may do; it will give you peace which you cannot describe. But do try sincerely.

19. The time spent for Bedtime prayer is increasing and sometimes to the point of exhaustion.
Our system does not permit exhaustion of any kind. Do every thing as naturally as you can and do not strain yourself more than necessary.

20. During Bedtime Prayers sometimes there is a feeling of repentance. Sometimes I feel calm and absorbed.
My advice is to pray till prayer is exhausted.

21. During Bedtime Prayer Some times I felt depressed. Mostly felt calm and felt absorbed into the prayer. I feel as if entire Sadhana is in Prayer. Besides 9 p.m., prayer I do Point A meditation before bedtime prayer.
You are right all sadhana is a series of lessons in Prayer. Depression is the negative aspect of Repentance. It is Repentance that needs to be had and not depression. Understand more the nature of the Divine to Forgive and be courageous enough to place before Him all that that makes you feel repentant. If such a surrender is done then our ego starts melting and slowly turns to its original shape, form. color and texture.

22. Some days did bedtime prayer with lot of devotion and submissiveness but some days felt difficulty as mind wavering is too much.
When you do a sum in Mathematics you surely do not attend to singing or dancing. It is the determination that matters. And determination is dependant on your priorities.